Monday, March 18, 2013

I'm Running Into Some Trouble

I've been having issues with my senior project recently. As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been writing poetry for my senior project.
The issue is, I can't seem to find the inspiration to keep writing. Part of it is just falling out of the habit, especially after a period of sickness that lasted WAY too long very recently. But part of it is a lot deeper, and it's concerning me. Just like my recent dearth of blogs, I'm finding that I'm very rarely putting stuff down for poetry, especially compared to the rate that I've put them down in the past.
Ultimately, it's coming down to a problem that I think a lot of us seniors face: the so-called disease of Senioritis.
What I think is interesting about how Senioritis has manifested itself in me is that I haven't stopped doing my work. Actually, my latest report card was pretty damn great. It's less about doing the work than the attitude in which it is done for me. Rather than attacking work with the curiosity and intellectual passion that I usually do, I'm finding myself unwilling and unmotivated to complete the work. I do it, eventually but I find that I'd much rather be watching Anthony Fantano, listening to new music or talking to friends. The big problem is that I can't convince myself anymore that those activities are a waste of time. Music is something I really enjoy, and it's going to be a big part of my life for the rest of my life. On top of that, I genuinely consider listening to music to be an intellectual activity. I'm a big believer in the Triangle of Health, so I can't convince myself that bonding with them and creating memories and experiences is a waste of time.
What I am having an easier and easier time convincing myself of is that my classes are a waste of time. Now, don't think that this is just a kid complaining about doing work. I have, for most of my life, been very much aware of the incredible value of education. I've always been curious, and I've always enjoyed class and felt that it was well worth my time. I'm serious, I promise. But recently I feel like most of my classes are just not worth it. Certain classes, like Lang and Java, still interest me and are definitely teaching skills and ways of thinking that I will use for years, but others classes don't feel like they're teaching me anything worthwhile, directly or indirectly. Usually, I'm able to justify a class that I know I'm not going to use later in life with the idea of collateral learning, but recently I don't really seem to be picking up any skills that would be useful from many of my classes.
I'm pretty much just really ready for college, I guess.

1 comment:

  1. A good cure for senioritis in the context of taking an AP course is to remember that you're not a senior, you're a freshman! This is as much, if not more, a freshman or intro course at the undergraduate college level as it is a senior high school writing course. Furthermore, you will receive college credit. So finish this coarse with the same vigor and enthusiasm that you'll approach your first writing course at Northwestern with because this is, after all, your FIRST writing course at Northwestern.

    Go 'Cats!

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